Summer Visitation and Changes of Custody

This is the time of year when my phone calls are often about summer possession. When does it end? Why didn't I get my possession? Do I get a weekend or not? He took the child out of state, can he do that? Can I change it for next year? She doesn't want to go. She doesn't want to come back. She says she isn't sending her back.

For an attorney to even begin to answer these questions, we have to have a copy of your order. Though Texas has a Standard Possession Order that provides for some standard rules about summer possession, they change over time. Some orders are different because of choices made by the parents at the time of the order. If you don't have a copy of your most recent order, you can get it from the courthouse where it was entered.

If you are the custodial parent and you have the standard order and nobody requested (or agreed to) something different, then the children are supposed to come back by the end of July. If they don't come back, your first option is to figure out if there was some confusion. Always try to discuss the issue first and reach a compromise. If this doesn't work (or the situation happens all the time) then you can seek legal enforcement of your order and/or a modification of your order. If an emergency, you can ask for emergency orders. Don't wait. Talk to a lawyer about your options. If you give in and let the child stay with the other parent for a "trial period", for example, you could be positioning yourself badly for the future. And, after school starts, it is hard on everyone to change anything.

This is generally NOT a good time for the noncustodial parent to ask for a change in the child's residence. To keep a child at the end of a summer possession and then go into court asking for a modification is not fair to the child. It is not fair to the other parent. Most importantly, judges don't like it. A parent needs to show the court that they are mature, thoughtful and concerned for the best, long-term interests of their child. To go to court on an emergency basis because your 15 year old decided he wanted to live with you (while he was at your house riding his new motorcycle) does not present well in court. And it is not good for your child. These are decisions that take a while to make and will probably require some sort of social study or evaluation before it is granted. A change of custody on a first hearing must be based on a serious danger facing the child if they return to the custodial parent. One judge explained it to me years ago like this: "If you called CPS, told them the situation and they gasped and removed the child immediately, then your client would be justified. Other than that, everyone needs to take a deep breath and think about it."

On the other hand, sometimes the summer possession is when the child gets comfortable enough to tell you some bad things that are happening in her life or in her home. The first step is to get the child into a counselor for a few visits. At the same time, you need to talk to the other parent in general terms about the child seeming sad or upset and tell them you are sending her to talk to a counselor. Provide the name and number, so they can call. If it turns out the child is in danger, either physical or emotional, and you want to make the commitment to a change, then call a lawyer. But make no mistake, without agreement this is a big commitment on your part. It can take a lot of time and money to enter a contested custody battle.